In my opinion, eye-contact is fascinating. I often feel that we communicate more with a brief look into someone else's eyes than we could by means of a lengthy conversation. When we communicate with our eyes we communicate in a pure sense. It is for this reason that Socrates referred to the eyes as the window to the soul.
Furthermore, when we make eye-contact with someone from a distance away and even across a crowded space, we recognise immediately that they have noticed us and they they are aware that we have noted them. The mutual aspect of eye-contact is truly amazing.
Surprisingly, the term 'eye-contact' was coined in the early to mid 1960s. I had presumed that this term was as old as the recognition that we can communicate without words.
In western society eye-contact is usually understood to be a sign of confidence and a means to communicate socially. However, is some cultures in Asia, prolonged eye-contact is read as a sign of aggression, particularly when a subordinate retains eye-contact with a superior.
While we in the West often assume that if someone cannot make eye-contact with us they are shy, weak or in some way lacking belief in themselves, some researchers suggest that we would be best to refrain from making eye-contact when people ask us demanding questions. These researchers found that maintaining eye-contact is so very mentally challenging that those who look away when they answer a question are more likely to respond correctly.
However, when it comes to close friends and particularly lovers, if someone does not meet your eye when you offer it, it can be disconcerting. How do we know whether someone loves us if we cannot see into the window to their soul?
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